Sunday, June 27, 2010

Let’s talk about sex baby…let’s talk about he and he…

Orignal Post: Thursday, February 25th 2010 8:26 PM
My Big Neapolitan Fatalogue:
Let’s talk about sex baby…let’s talk about he and he…

Entry 2:

So today…we are going to talk about sex! Hot sticky sex, smooth rolling lost in your eyes sex, two-minute quickie sex and…well honestly we just gonna talk about sweet boy-on-boy/girl-on girl love… Get the hell over it! Get over your fears, phobias and hetero-male gaze fantasies!

Ok, if you’ve read my poetry…in particular “Fatties, Fags. Dykes and Darkies,” you know my stance on sexuality…or rather my get the hell over it and let people be people attitude… So how did this rant come about…well my partner/hubby/person I shack up with…was telling me about a faux celebrity blog/entertainment site the other day. Ultimately what the writers or proprietors of this site do is poke fun at celebrities and create “false” rumors. Several of the current “rumors” running about the site pertain to teen sensations, Taylor Swift (who I get why she is famous), Selena Gomez (a product of the Disney machine, who otherwise I would not know) and Demi Lavoto (another product of the Disney machine, who otherwise I would not know). The “Terrible” rumors flying about these women are…lesbian love triangle. On this site (yea I made him show it to me), were comments by young tweens and teens who were totally affronted. Comments ranged from “Demi rocks,” “Taylor is awesome” followed by outrage: “how could you say such gross and awful lies.” These “gross” and “awful” lies are in reality the possibility of someone being gay or LGBT (for those of you less savvy folks that’s Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender). With all the advancements of the 21st century, including our first Black/Bi-racial president, the possibility that yes, maybe in my lifetime “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” might be repealed…and states and countries who allow/support same-sex marriages---ultimately to American youth the possibility of homosexuality is heinous.

Needless to say, I got all pissy. Why? Because sites like this participate in a gender structure system that does not represent the HUMAN population. While simultaneously these folks are perpetuating gay-bashing behaviors. In making homosexuality a “rumor” of shame, or “disgust” these sites send a message to U.S. youth saying---“the worst thing you can say about someone is that they are gay/lesbian” And by extension the worst thing someone can be is homosexual. Again…what the fuck. Seriously…this is the hate philosophy my children are going to have to dismantle despite all our advancements… Oh wait…We pretend race is not an issue, that there is no class system in operation in America, but let our freak flag fly when it comes to pronouncing our hatred of fags and, lets call a spade a spade…fatties (fat folks…or as my husband and I call ourselves… “fluffy”). The double F’s…whom it is ok to hate, or “not understand” or, even better “tolerate.” When someone says they “tolerate” gays, he/she is saying they will put up with this “unpleasantness.”

Didn’t Kinsey dispel absolute heterosexuality how long ago? Haven’t countless biologists and psychologists debated the gay-factor enough to at lest create an element of “hey it happens,” in peoples minds? Seriously folks, go to the local sea world or pick up a documentary on Orcas… Yes pretty whales, we love them…go Shamu! Male adolescent Orcas are notorious for masturbating one another. I lived near farms as a kid…Do you want to know how many times we saw the cows mounting and rubbing off against each other. So what? If it happens in nature it cannot with humans…? Ah yes, our opposable thumbs and “straightness” are what ultimately separate us from animals. The American populous makes billions of dollars off hetero-male gaze lesbian fantasies in both mainstream and blue films (porn). So if it makes money, and is created for dominant male gazes it is ok… Which also happens to be a contributing factor in violence perpetrated against gay male men…who are not (usually) created or used for dominate hetero-male gaze consumerisms, unless as a source of violence.

Blek, I hate definitions of sexual orientation!

I am not straight. I refuse to label myself as something so absolute, which takes no consideration of love, or attraction to more than the physical, into account. So, I fuck men and have historically only been attracted to ‘em, but I don't consider myself straight, but human. I like gay/lesbian erotica (prefer it usually). I’ve never been attracted to a woman but would not bat an eyelash if I woke up next to one, or fell in love with one, and I am active in LGBT issues, causes and lives. The majority of my close friends and allies happen to be Lesbian, Two-Spirit or Bisexual NDN women…and they are kick ass talented, intelligent humans I am proud to call sisters and brothers. I do not use the word straight or hetero in reference to me'self --cause hey us NDN/Creole girls can be ultra fem with our visual appearance but also kick your ass, skin a deer and fix a car... So, this rant led to a discussion, and my even asking a Two-Spirit POC (person of color) friend of mine what word works. Do I identity as Queer? Queer non-normative? What the hell do I use... And then in all this I realized I was perpetuating the same, “check the box” label-definition cataloguing crap that drives me bonkers about race. I was falling victim to the same gender-definitions and constructions I sought to dismantle. And that is the reality of it, unless we are not consciously active every second in deconstructing the boxes of gender, sex, race and class…then we are ultimately at risk of falling prey to them…and in the end continuing them. Silence is not an option.

All this eventually led to a question (asked often by my partner and occasional friend or family member) “Why do you feel it is necessary to talk about race, sexuality, religion and consumerism in conjunction with being fat?”

Well, I do honestly think it is all connected. The ways in which peoples of different race and racial admixtures, different sexual orientations and religions as well as certain monetary classes are and have been excluded from the historic record of the Americas also means that marketing and accounting for these people, i.e. addressing us and thinking of us as active viable people in the capitalist machine, means acknowledging our histories and stories. We are not represented significantly in media or in capital and certainly not in a way that accounts for our actual numbers. We are also peoples whose stories at times overlap through discrimination, violence and acculturation. I honestly believe that while you can be funny, witty sarcastic; you can also make a statement. Make people think. I hope that a person who is of color or a fat person who is white or none of the above can at some point read what I write and relate, whether it is because of issues of class, sex, race or weight. For me these issues just seem to be bound up in the very physical reality of my corporal self, and that would be a fat, multiracial Indigy package, one who understands religious, political, racial, class and sexual persecutions either first hand or through close personal family and friends. Fat is the vehicle, since weight is such a concern in popular culture, we are taught to fear it and it is one of the last acceptable things to persecute in media. So why not use my own fat to tackle the other silent racisms and bigotry through both my experience and my observance. Who says it can’t be funny? Laughter is learning and healing…

And on that note: I am not straight…I am Rain...I am human…And I am a proud Indigenous Fat Fag Hag!

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